Jumping Back In

Welcome back! I am saying that to myself, I am back and so pumped to get back to writing. I have been gone from this site for 5 years. So hard to believe that this much time has passed. I turned 30 last summer, this summer I turn 31. Somehow I don't feel any older. Maybe my teeth hurt more, but my body feels great.

 I daze off here, must be the mushrooms kicking in. My body waves in and out of focus. Jim Morrison begins to sing to me from his place in the frame on the wall. As he ends his melody he reaches out and places a glass of mushroom tea on the table at my feet. I sit up to take a closer look. Goddamn. It is mushroom tea, and Jim Morrison handed it to me. Hah. Sweet. I grab the glass and lay back on the worn loveseat I am laying on.

 I am in the living room of a low end, second story apartment on the east side of New Orleans. Some residential area about 1 1/2 miles from The French Quarter. I got here sometime yesterday, having walked the long stretch of Canal avenue in the afternoon, watching the ebb of busy city traffic making their routes around the never ending city buses. I am always entranced in the change from the French Quarter bustle to the peaceful, tree hanging side streets as I get further and further towards Devin and Marlo's place.

Devon and Marlo are lesbians I met awhile back while singing in the quarter, or maybe through my friend Puck, another homeless person in this large city of souls. Marlo is a dark skinned, tough black woman. She has a floppy head of curls and a stocky stance. Devon reminds me of a daydreamer girl from an upper middle class family. Devin's hair is short, remanicent of Winona Ryder's haircut in the 90's movie Girl Interrupted. Devin stands a few inches taller than me and with her easy going and fun attitude, kind of reminds me of my sister. How I ended up in their apartment, looking back I am not sure exactly, but I know I usually ended up places because I needed food or a place to sleep. I need a place to sleep every night truth be told. But that is another part of the story.

 The coffee table takes a few teapot size steps towards me and I leap off of the couch and half fall, half leap into the kitchen. Devon, Shanti, Puck, and one other person are standing in the kitchen looking startled and entertained by my stumbling body and laughing eyes, at this point it has hit me that I just ran away from a table. I doubt it meant any harm were it really strutting my way.

 Puck is holding his glass of mushroom tea, so is Marlo.  I realize I as well am holding a cup of mushroom tea. Though, really 'cup' isn't the right word, it is definitely a glass. 8 ounces of fresh brewed, fresh picked mushroom tea. I was sleeping not even two hours ago, and it is before even the sun had rose in the morning. I giggle to remember this.

 I had walked all the day before.  I walked most days an average of 20 miles. I figured that out at the library a couple of weeks ago by mapping the distance from my main travel points on google maps. I felt like 20 was an underestimation, but it was something. That morning I had woke up on the top of an RV in a parking lot on the north end of Bourbon street with a touring punk band who I had met the day before and spent the night being both amused and shocked by their outrageous behavior. The rest of the crew had gone out to pick mushrooms in the fields on the edge of the suburbs of the city.

 I was tired from all my walking and Devon hands me her cup and asks if I want to eat the mushrooms, she doesn't like the texture and that is totally understandable. I, however, and totally cool to eat the mushrooms, and gobble them right down. Mashing the chewy chunks down and tipping the glass up to get the last of the tea.

The sun was still not up, and the kitchen had a very midnight feel to it, though it was nearing 5:30 in the morning.

*~The Seat Of My Soul~*

I resonate the bliss of a strawberry mist between the hips of a mountain of love and a mountain of joyous song.,, You will find me in the vibrations of the hummingbird's wings as atlast that sweet spirit is freed into thee celestial perceived beyond both you and me. Should you need light, borrow mine, if you are cold, here I give you heat, should the darkness weigh you down, here my wings will set you to peace....

~Level Up~

Leveling up!
High vibrational light and night has sight beyond these celestial skies.. inhale, exhale.. release and I feel the sea, the waves of epiphany are pouring over me and I AM alive... I survive, stride by stride, with ease.. easily...... Like a tree has roots into the ground so I bring my spirit down and out and in and run it through the cerebral meaning of me and you and us. We are love. We are righteous, we are power, strong and true, we are righteous rainbow warriors, strong and true.... And with this tune I bid a fine ado to you~ ♥

Shaky Fingers

I take bold steps, free fall into the midst
Wake into this, this sure face again
Bless this broken road plays on the mist
Feathers tearing holes underneath this skin

Flying Feet and soaring eyes
Like metaphors similar in style and might
Mighty terradactals soaring bye
Carrying the message of eternal life

Roads run before me
And have left me long ago
I can't continue chasing sailing melodies
Racing after you is like giving up my soul

Bah dah bod dah dah bop
Sublime on my radio station gives me signs
Hopes in caskets left to slowly drop
From the teetering edges of my own existence divine

Love's what I got
It's all coming back now
Testing boundaries gets hot
And I revolve one more day somehow

~Back to the NOW~

Awakening to This!

I awake from the subconscious to discover the dream of reality here in Sioux Falls, Sd. I can hear my friends downstairs as they are practicing for their performance at Harvest Fest in Harmony Park, MN. There is so much that has led me to be here now, and wow what a trip it's been. I left off from my last journey entry in Missoula, Montana. I had found a spot to camp in the backyard of the Spruce Street House just a short two miles from downtown. It was a local house made of a collection of travelers, musicians, artists and characters of many makes. The first night I sat with them and watched Wayne's World. Ha, I haven't seen that in years and now caught a lot more of the jokes, it was classic! I sat their watching that movie while also doing homework, so it was a give and take situation of two totally enjoyable activities. I needed some focus though so after the movie went to my tent and after a short bit of homework fell fast asleep. After a good day listening to music and doing homework at the library I headed back to the Spruce Street House to settle in for the night. It was a little too distracting for me that night so I decided to walk to somewhere that would help me stay on track. This led me to the local supermarket at the end of the block. There were tables outside and so I sat down next to the two employees smoking. At first the manager and the employee just offered me a spot to sit, though they were already closed. Then the manager came out and told me to be safe and that if I felt threatened, it was a bit of a shady area, I should knock on the window and he would come to help. Then he came back out and told me if I was cold I could come sit inside, or if I felt too scared out in the darkness at 1 AM by myself. He then looked at me and , I shivered and just glanced my tired and weary eyes at him. That was all I needed to say, he ushered me into the now closed store and set me up at the tables to work. Haha, that kind stranger is definetly a big part of how I ended up getting caught up with my nutrition homework and the other assignments calling to me. I spent the next few days in Missoula and then one day it was time to go. We had been anticipating the arise of our three friends who had left the caravan a week ago, but as the days went on our optimism dropped and we realized they weren't coming. That meant we were yet on foot and going to have to find our own way back to South Dakota, and even out of Washington to start with. Now that the truck was broke down it was all on foot if we wanted to continue traveling.
We all slept well the night before, three of us sharing my medium size tent for warmth. Then we packed our gear, threw it on our back and walked the 1.5 miles to the interstate. We stood on the side of the on ramp dancing and waving our extended thumbs out to passing cars. I tell you that my schoolwork weighed 20lbs by itself so for me this was a heavy weight to bear. We had been there for almost an hour when we finally got a ride from a nice man who owned the sushi bar in Missoula. He gave us a ride all the way to Spokane and I had so much fun sharing my nutrition info with him and he with me. It was a great exchange of minds and I felt like I had just stepped into the classroom for those three hours with him. It was funny as I kept flipping through the World's Healthiest Foods, pointing out this and that and discussing the research we have been doing and how this has truly impacted me. He left with intention to buy the book and maybe add some healthier vegetables to his menu. I had of course been pitching him the selling points of a more energized clientelle and also how that energy is like a good habit that people will want to come back for.
So there we were, at this small gas station with all of our packs, a guitar, and my school bag. We tried to find a ride for quite some time and then just ended up camping on the large area between the interstate and the highway beneath a cover of trees. Even after we camped I still tried to find us a ride from the truckers at the Flying J across the bridge. I ended up getting some good food, an offer for a ride two days later, and some nice conversations, as well as one somewhat creepy invitation I quickly dodged out of.
The camp was nice and we all slept well. Then we were up and before we knew it we were in a van with this great guy heading right to the Rainbow Gathering an hour north of Spokane. The man that picked us up was more than ready for a cool detour out of his way and actually spent a few hours hanging with us at the Gathering site in the Colville National Forest of Washington.
And it is here we spent the next week. The entrailing beauty and knowledge that comes from this transformational gathering is a challenge to put into words. I laughed,I cried, I meditated in deep spiritual presence, and I walked as though I were in the presence of Krishna in his magical forest of abundance. I watched people come together and discover many wonderful and life staying lessons. I ate food that I would never eat out in Babylon, or the cities, as we call it. There was a many a yoga session and teachers abundant to share the lessons they've learned along the way. I even gave a woman in a total breakdown a life coaching session and left her smiling and in meditative thought. It was, and continuosly is, a strong grounding factor in my life experiences to be where nature is rightly upheld and respected.
Yet, the time always comes to leave, and so it happened. It took 6 days from when I began the idea and packing of my things to get out of that righteous forest. I felt the empending need to do my schoolwork, and also interestingly enough the ungrounding begin to happen the further I was from my schoolwork. I had caught a ride into town the 5th day to do homework, but just as I got started on it the cafe closed down and kicked us out. This was in the samll town of Chewelulah, Washington.
We got a ride with our two friends, Fish and Kevin, into Spokane and back to that unforgiving truck stop. It was a great ride and we knew we would see each other again as we danced and laughed our way from each other in the truck stop parking lot. Then the night set in and Gena, my sister, and I found ourselves on a Saturday night standing once again on an on-ramp and praying for some kindness. It only took about an hour before I finally found a ride straight through from Spokane to Rapid City, Sd. It was amazing that the people who gave us a ride had sporatically decided to drive to the ocean from Rapid City and then had been 50 miles from it and decided to turn around or they wouldn't have made it back in time to go to work. It was a long ride through Montana, and Wyoming. It took many hours and on Sunday afternoon, roughly 20 hours later, we were grabbing our bags and hungry as we landed in a rest area just outside of Rapid. We sat and ate lunch as a rainbow appeared directly in front of us, and felt revived in that beauty. We had been trying to find a ride for atleast an hour and a half when we decided to just start walking. We put our bags on and each grabbed our carry along in our hands. I didn't make it far. The pack on my bag was so heavy with my books, instruments, clothes, and camping supplies. I was carrying also a bag with both hands against my chest that had in it my nutrition book, my hypnotherapy binder, my computer, and a notebook. It was heavier than it seems. So with this weight and the sharp pain that began in my back we set our stuff down and just stared into the oncoming cars praying that in one of those passing faces we would find kindness. It truly didn't take long before a car pulled off and we were graciously accepting the short 3 mile jaunt into Rapid City.
Had we known how long we were going to be in Rapid we might have just kept waiting until something more came along. Nonetheless we ended up spending an entire night, maybe 12 hours or so, at The Windmill Truckstop in Rapid City's west side. I had first been trying to find a ride to Sioux Falls so that I could unload my pack and sit uninterrupted to do my schoolwork. After a few hours of absolutely nothing, I gave up and sat down at the Subway table to do my schoolwork. I was exhausted. Something inside of me saw the weeks worth of homework and broke. I recovered quickly and with tired determination began to dive into the work ahead of me. It was a long and cold night, getting colder as the outside temperature dropped and the AC inside blew even cooler onto my worn body. By 5 in the morning I was exhausted, losing focus, and broken hearted. I had spent so much time on all my work and still felt like I had a mountain in front of me. All I wanted was a hot bath, a warm bed, and a friendly smile to warm my spirit too.
It finally broke me. I needed this stabilization, it was out of control. I finally felt the crack of my foundation and it rippled my emotions and at the state of my exhaustion I just broke down. I needed out of that truck stop, out of that mindframe of dispair. I threw my bag hastily on my back, Grabbed my schoolbag and began to walk to the interstate. The sun was just barely beginning it's ascent into the sky. I walked into what was still a night sky, but with the dim awareness that sun was coming in the next hour. Gena hollered at me to wait up and I walked until again that pain shot through me and all I could do was shake and fight tears and set my pack down on the side of that unforgiving I-90 East bound lane. I just gave up, I did. I couldn't do this anymore I thought to myself. I laid right down and just pulled my hat over my eyes and decided that I would just sleep and let Gena try and get a passing car to stop. Well, it worked. 15 minutes later as I was slowly drifting in and out of sleep I heard wheels roll to a stop and pulled the hat from my face. Ahh, hope, thank God for hope I thought as I threw my pack in the truckbed and jumped in the cab. He only brought us a few miles down the road, still in Rapid City even. He let us out at a different truck stop and we jumped out as the sun now came over the mountain peaks and graced our eyes. We still had no luck though and I was still totally exhausted.
Within not even 15 minutes we were told that cops would be called (ouch) and so my tired body grabbed my heavy pack, shakily yanked it into place on my throbbing back, and my weak arms gathered my school bag. Gena had her stuff on and we walked through the parking lot, over the interstate, down the grassy hill and jumped over a train hitch to find ourselves at a McDonald's. As much as I can't stand the food and ethics of McDonald's I have got to say here that they have more than once been a savior in darkened moments for me. Truly, if it weren't for the multiple McDonald's internet cram sessions I don't think I could be where I am with school. So I first tried to do my schoolwork, but as the reality of my desperate need for sleep hit me I realized no homework was going to be done in that state. So I wandered over to the free contenintal breakfast at the neighboring hotel. Oh, how greatful I am for the many times contenental breakfast has saved me from truly desperate moments.
And then I found myself finally laying down, even though it was just a stones throw away from the drive-thru traffic on the median between McDonald's and the Sleep Inn. Wow, but how I slept. It wasn't nearly enough time though for my tired mind before I was awoken to a car honking as it pulled up next to us. Gena had managed to get ahold of her childhood best friend and we were getting a ride to her house from her Mom. It was like walking into a memory when I sat in that car in my foggy eyed state. I had spent a lot of time with Laurie, the mom giving us a ride, and Mikayla, Gena's BFF when I was younger, and as I sat in that car all these memories came flooding into me. '
It was an incredible experience being at Mikayla's house, meeting her three children, and finally getting some good sleep and a shower. She was amazing, opening up her entire house to us and demanding we eat anything and everything we cared to. Man, we did eat too! Haha, we left that night in total fullness and with a smile on our face. Kayla gave us a ride 70 miles or so East to a truck stop outside of Wall, Sd. It was 10:30 or so at night and i just set up a tent, said goodbye to Kayla, and began to complete my much needed rest and recovery.
I slept immediately and deeply. It was like I was catching up for a month's worth of hard living and the many nights of little to no sleep. Much of that due to the cold weather, or the tug-of-war for blankets and space I had had so many nights with Gena and Jason in my tent.
I was awoke in the morning by Gena saying we had a ride. We grabbed our gear, folded up the tent, and were in that semi truck rather quickly. I slept almost the entire four and a half hours to the rest stop outside of Mitchell, Sd. I only woke once or twice during the whole ride and was quick to jump back into sleep.
We waited for about half an hour before finally getting a ride all the way to Sioux Falls. Oh wow did it feel good too, that moment we threw our things out of that truck and realized we had made it. Well, I just collapsed onto my pack and sleepily smiled into the mid morning sun shining down on me. The wind didn't matter, the time it took our sister-in-law to get there didn't matter, even my poor distressed back didn't matter. All I wanted to do was set my things down and not have to pick them back up again. It seems like a daze as I sit here now thinking about it all. I never really expected such trouble from the journey I embarked on. Who plans for a broken truck and the added weight of making sure your sister is safe and back to school on time. She is already going to miss her first week of classes though as an effect of our mishaps. But she is going to be there next week and that is such a relief. I was so satisfied to set my things down and empty that pack, and then to sit in my familiar coffee shop with friends for a minute. Even eating the buffet salad I used to have so often from HyVee was etheric.
And here I sit now listening to the most amazing music floating and pounding through the floorboards beneath me as I am finally able to sit undisturbed and do my homework. There are so many small stories within these words, but I have a lot to do and a great drive to get it done with speed and deep insights I am anxious to dig in. So from Sioux Falls, SD and my heart, I am signing out. Ahhh... thank Spirit for a warm bed and good friends~

~Transformation Instigation~

Hello Body, Mind and SOul~

To being true and energtically balanced into the light of true consciousness I feel that deciding on a specific direction is my first and foremost focus. Take my food and Digest it thoroughly. Investigate, apprehend, and celebrate each nutrient, mineral and cellular mitochondriac burst of Ka*pow positive charge. I dedicate thoughts and intuitive research into bringing my truth more and more to reality- cell by cell.

How can I ingest, digest, and expand out into a more correct universal statement of my highest purpose? Hmm... Deep thoughts, big moments colliding in one breathe and out another. Energy revolves 23 degrees on the continuosly rotating image I hold of self. This grounded spirit is often aloof into the wind of thought. Breeding ideas and harvesting enlightenment like corn on the Midwest dinner table. Fast, absorb this all. I know, Iknow, I need to slow down... Step 1. Take a deep breathe. 2. Into the Now of my moment 3. Concsiously create the moment and space in time, feel the energy of the environment in all it's highest sense, embrace the changes as they move around me, embrace the peace.. 4. Breathe again, deeply from the bottom to the top of my head. Imagine I am breathing in the entire universe and exhaling the entire universe. 5.Ponder the purpose that the entire universe would find in the morsel in front of me. 6. Laugh if I want to. 7. Eat already!! Haha, just kidding~ I will slowly and with great joy feel the MMMmmmMMmmMmm of my body as I chew into the bliss and strength of this tasty presence in my life.

Ok, just a few ideas to spread like peanut butter across this page and envision. Imagine and believe and visualize these great changes piece by piece. See every move that leads to my success. Done and Done~

What DOES My Food Look Life Now?

Well, unfortunetly that question is not going to be answered visually at this time. I, being unbelievably tied to the traveling life, haven't had more food than just enough for a meal or two at a time in quite awhile. I can tell you though what I am eating now and that might just have to do...
So I have been eating a lot of fresh fruits such as grapes,bananas, oranges, pineapple and melons. I have found myslef having tortillas and salad with onions and garlic in most of what I eat. I haven't been eating much rice or beans, no pasta, and very little bread. I have apples pretty often and mixed nuts have been a staple for awhile. I haven't been having much dairy or cheese, almost none. I have been staying away from most sweets, including chocolate. I have also been having more meat in my life, organic, local meat that makes me feel great when I eat it.
So there it is, a look at a traveling diet... See where I am at the end of this incredible course~ Cheers~
PS. I will get a picture as soon as I have an opportunity to have more than a few things around me.